"MAWWWAGGE!!!!"

Anyone who truly knows me can tell you that I firmly detest the cult classic and 80's movie, The Princess Bride. And I'm sorry to admit that this post will probably put a few noses out of joint as I bash your favourite movie, but I have to get this off my chest. Don't even try to use the excuse, "You had to have grown up watching it..." on this girl, because I grew up in the era that apparently brainwashed many impressionable minds into loving this movie. I've been quite adamant about my hatred of this fairy tale since 4th grade.

I just didn't see what the big deal was. At every slumber party someone would obnoxiously blurt out, "Mawwagge is what bwings us togewwer." and then some girl would predictably follow with, "Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya" blahblahblah....This would immediately propel me to devise some scheme to call for my ride home.

But then I hit my twenty's and realized that not a dinner party goes by without some chorus of guests who exchange the lines' "Mawwaggeeee is what bwings us togewwer!!!!" in unison. FOR REAL!!! Can someone please tell me, are they laughing because he has a speech impediment? Or because it's fun to say? I just don't get it!

OH!!! And, I just writhe in disgust when I hear the line, "Does anybody want a peanut?" Then, right on cue everyone just starts rolling their heads back with laughter while I sit like a little cross-armed grump in the corner and patiently wait for them to run out of lines that they know.

If you're finding yourselves screaming "INCONCEIVABLE!" at your computer upon reading this, I'll have you know that we can still be friends. It's just probably best that you never tell me how you feel about this movie because I can't promise that I won't hold it against you. I even lost a little bit of respect for Pam Beasley once I learned that she would list The Princess Bride as one of her all time favourites and even included it in her top five choice for "Desert Island Movies" on The Office. What gives, Beasley?!?! What could this mean for my friendships?!

As fate would have it, Rubber Chicken Theater approached me to design their poster for their latest live read. I said, "As you wish." only because Brian and the company he keeps have been so kind to me.

Of course, it would be my luck that the poster request for one of my favourite films "A League of Their Own" was indefinitely put on hold. Ugh!